“Deep inside you is an undeniable, untamed force wanting to be great and refusing to be ordinary.” Darren Hardy. If you are to reach higher, become better and achieve more this year, you may want to stop deluding yourself, get off your butt, stop being lazy and actually DO something about it.
STOP BEING DELUSIONAL
I read an awesome blog post by Ramit Sethi called “Tough Love for Delusional People.” http://growthlab.com/ramits-tough-love-delusional-people/ It totally got my brain churning and it inspired this blog post. He stated, “one of the most interesting parts of human nature is our massive, unrelenting ability to TOTALLY DELUDE THE SHIT OUT OF OURSELVES.” I couldn’t agree more. Human nature really is a fascinating thing to observe in not only ourselves but in the lives of others. I’ve definitely had my fair share of denial and delusion that’s for sure.
My role as a coach and facilitator is to help people stop the internal madness and self-sabotage, harness that internal energy and transform it into positive gains and to quit deluding themselves so they can “be” more and “achieve” more in their lives. However, because we as humans make things so much more complicated than they have to be, we sometimes never live our BEST lives because of our relentless attitude in accepting mediocrity, believing in lies and getting seduced by media manipulation. Oh and let’s not forget our weak mental fortitude that keeps stopping us from seeing our ability to be UNLIMITED just to name a few.
We have more resources, more technology, more knowledge and information available to us than ever before and we still can’t get off our lazy butts and create our deepest wants and desires. No one is going to do this for you, it is completely up to you. YOU are going to have to make it happen.
And for some strange reason, although we know we aren’t literally insane, we just pretend to have temporary bouts of insanity when we cannot stop doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result. But then there is ignorance. “In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.” Dr. Dispenza. I am telling you that is the EASY way out to proclaim ignorance. You know what, there will ALWAYS be a way out, a way to quit and tell yourself you can’t be bothered having a better life because it is too hard. But on the flipside, there is also always a way to overcome your obstacles and challenges too.
Your job is to NOT quit on yourself and find an exit strategy. Find a stronger WHY, you want to achieve that goal or purpose and keep going. Maybe you just haven’t found your flow or your progress just yet. But keep trying, because it IS there. You are the only one who can decide on which life you are going to live.
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
In order to change, you have to change your mind. I know, cliché isn’t it? Did you forget that to change is to get uncomfortable and stretch beyond your ability to overcome your own mental rubbish, to not quit on yourself and to trudge forward despite it being painfully difficult sometimes and against all odds?
Your ego can be the best drama queen in the world. The sub-vocalizations and subconscious beliefs are relentless aren’t they? They are the whispers and the voices we hear so loudly and they say things like “you can’t, you aren’t smart enough, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t pretty enough, you had an awful child hood, you suck at life and have to keep torturing yourself because you couldn’t get over that past relationship, your parents stopped you from having it, you are too short, too ugly, you don’t have enough money,” blah blah blah blah blah. The list is endless right? I know it is, I have believed many of those limitations only to stay stuck, lazy and unextraordinary.
The pivotal point in my life was when I was diagnosed with a stress-related illness back in 2009. I had literally believed every nonsensical and bullshit belief that ran through my drama queen mind based on my limited behavioral patterns. So what did I do? I took radical action. I read tons of books, learned how to meditate, took some amazing self-development classes and slowly became conscious of all runaway freight train subconscious babble that I believed in that had me acting like an emotionally immature and illogical person in my personal and professional life.
The common denominator in my life up until that point was ME. Ha, sobering isn’t it? It is like breaking down of all the past beliefs, issues, and habits which are now patterns, that had me running myself into the ground getting in my own way and stopping all of my progress. No wonder all of my dreams had been eluding me. How could I even attempt to achieve anything when all of my beliefs lead me to a place called lazy, mediocre and unexceptional?
YOU are the only one standing in the way of “that” amazing life you keep dreaming about. Yes, YOU. Can you even stand it? So you are going to have to dig deep and get out of your own way and just go for it. Your deepest desires and wishes are literally only a few changes and a few decisions away, so what are you going to give up in order to get that life you want? Are you willing to do what it takes? YOU are the only one who can make the necessary adjustments to make the change.
Put on your BIG Boy or Girl panties and push yourself to never before taken terrain of your own life. Yes, it’s hard, yes sometimes it sucks, yes you may lose some sleep, you will more than likely lose some friends, but guess what, would you prefer the alternative? Stuck, unremarkable and average? Or will you give that up for progress, evolution and success?
I’ve got a secret, it is not the government, it is not political reform, it is not that you are part of the minority, it is not your parents, it is not your friends, and it is not your ex-partner, it is not that you were born in the wrong generation, it is not because you didn’t have enough time, it is not that you aren’t smart enough. It is YOU and your limited and victim mindset.
Haven’t you made enough excuses for not having the life you want so badly? No one is sabotaging your success, but you. Wah wah wah, it is YOU, that’s right, solely and responsibly, it is your own doing and the choices that you have made up until this point. YOU are the problem.
A little insight into my life, my mother committed suicide when I was 4. Rough start to life hey, talk about abandonment issues. My father gambled to the extent of almost $1million dollars at the casino, and we had to sell our family home when I was 16.
Almost every one of my boyfriends has cheated on me (boohoo, cry me a river) and I lost a third of my hair to a stress-related illness in 2009. My parents were diagnosed with cancer at the same time that my house was robbed (to the extent of almost everything they could get their hands on) in the middle of my divorce.
S%!t happens right? So I know that life can be unruly and unfair, so what? I could be a victim to it or I could just take 100% responsibility of my life and just suck it up and move forward. It wasn’t without tears and grief at times, I shed a lot of tears and had a lot of difficult conversations with myself and it was truly character building and liberating. “It’s ok to get emotional, It’s OK to cry, and this is the key-as long as you can play hurt-My mom always told me one of the tests of an emotionally healthy person was how quickly they can recover from a setback. The test of strength is not avoiding emotional distress, it’s functioning in the face of it.” Megyn Kelly
So listen and listen carefully, I have had every opportunity to be depressed, sad, alone, broke, frustrated, ticked off, average and stuck… Now, what? I chose differently and I had to elevate my mindset. I wanted more for myself and more out of my life. I wanted to be better, become more aware and to have an amazing life. So I got to work. I wanted it more than anything else in my life, anything.
I lived through it, it took me a long time to become the person I am today, but it’s worth the pain and the struggle to get there isn’t it and stop bitching and complaining that life isn’t fair. Life is life. You dictate the way you SEE it. So if you see things you don’t like in YOUR life, have a reason to change and “Just do it!.”
YOU, equipped with the RIGHT mindset and attitude can accomplish anything! Yes, anything and overcome all of those things you set your mind to with intention and some major resolve.
But here is the best part, YOU are the solution too. If you have been a nagger and complainer about all of the things you haven’t accomplished, you need to grab a mirror and take a good hard look at yourself and know you have the power to change and revolutionize yourself in this lifetime. That is pretty amazing wouldn’t you agree? You don’t have to wait to evolve, you can evolve right NOW just by deciding that what you have done up until now just isn’t good enough.
It doesn’t matter how small the change is, but if you say you want these things, you are going to have to quit moaning, complaining and bitching about all of it and start taking ownership and action. You literally are only a few decisions and actions away from the success you crave.
GROW SOME THICK SKIN
So here is what I want…. I want better for YOU and I want to give more of what I know to you. The more effort and attitude you put in, the more you are going to get out of your progress and productivity. There IS equal opportunity out there with all of the free resources, technology and knowledge available to you. There is no excuse for you NOT to start living the life that you want now is there? Everyone wants to be a millionaire but only a few of us are willing to do what it takes to become one. The vast majority never reach that goal because of their attitude and their ability to overcome their own self- limiting beliefs about how they can get to where they say they want to go.
Your habits define YOU. Yep, they sure do. You are an expression of YOU, all of the time and this includes; what you say, how you say it, what you do, how you do it, how you dress, what you wear, how polite you are, if you have high emotional intelligence, if you can get over the past if you are late to work, save money, live within your means, what you say on social media. You are literally living out your life through YOUR HABITS and conditioned PATTERNS.
OR for some of us, our habits and conditioned patterns are controlling us aren’t they? The smoker who can’t stop smoking although they were just diagnosed with lung cancer, the foodie who can’t stop eating, who now has cardiovascular disease, the gambler who can’t stop gambling who gambled away their 401K, the spender who can’t stop spending despite the fact their car just got repossessed, the person who can’t get out of that terrible relationship who thinks they have to put up with the constant verbal abuse. These are just some of the habits and patterns that we accept as “normal” what a crock! If that is NORMAL, then I want to be abnormal!
One thing is for sure, there is going to be rejection, embarrassment, difficult decisions to make, deceit, lies and so on but it is YOUR job to make informed decisions in knowing this because life is not perfect, you aren’t perfect and no one else is. So moving right along now.
Stop distracting yourself from your goals and deepest desires because your ridiculous excuses that keep you from having an awesome life. In my coaching classes, I have heard more than enough excuses for laziness and mediocrity that I could compile a book called ‘The Best Excuses of 2016.’ If more people would stop focusing on their limitations and start focusing on what they can do, and just do it, there would be no time for excuses!
If you are really going to achieve the things you said you wanted to achieve, then grow some balls and get some thick skin. Stop making shitty excuses, the reality is that in life there is going to be some pain, emotionally, mentally and maybe even physically, so you are going to have to dig deep and get on with it despite this.
Every successful person faced their own challenges and met their limitations but rose to the occasion and were forced to overcome their fears and pre-determined limits. Will you do what you have always done? Or will you choose differently and emulate those successful people in their quest for attaining greatness? This is your story, you decide your own fate. Do you want to be successful and overcome yourself this year? Well then, quit the BS, quit the whining, quit the excuses and start WINNING.
To The Success You Deserve in 2017,