So we all know there are no shortcuts to happiness and self-confidence. I know we sometimes secretly wish we could miraculously change overnight or that mystical genie in a bottle would somehow appear at our doorstep saying “your wish is my command,” but in reality, this is not the case at all unless we delude ourselves into thinking that it is.
Getting happy, finding inner peace and gaining confidence takes a little time, a little effort (or a lot) and a level of mental and emotional determination in order for us to change. Sometimes our stubborn egos get in the way of our willingness to grow and evolve, but nothing can stand in the way of us when we unleash that burning passion and harness that strength within to transform our lives.
I met an amazing person at my CrossFit gym in Peoria, AZ and over time we have become close friends. I noticed something about Sarah, she is always happy, she embodies independence and she is just a classy lady. Sarah is 36 years old and has some life experience under her belt.
So I posed a question to Sarah and I think you will be delighted with her answers: “What are some things YOU do that make you SO happy?”
She recommended these 5 things for a happy, healthy and more confident life.
1. Comparison is the Thief of Joy- Teddy Roosevelt
I know this one has been done to death but it is oh so true. Comparing yourself to others is a trait of the insecure. Confident people know it is a waste of their time and energy so STOP IT immediately if you want to be happy!
When you become more grateful for YOU, what your life reflects and that you are nothing short of a miracle, amazing things start to unfold. You don’t even want to compare yourself to others because you are so happy with your own life’s creations and what you set out to achieve, that you don’t even think about what “they” are doing.
If you are basing your self-confidence and how popular you are on how many Facebook friends you have or twitter followers, then you have it all wrong. How is it that we have determined the quality of our self-worth on such nonsensical things?
Our brains always tend to compare the BEST things in others to our worst traits, how ridiculous a process is that? The drama queen called the EGO knows exactly how to stir up the internal madness called competition. Beware and hit the mute button of those toxic beliefs.
Life is NOT a competition. Why are you making it one? You are robbing yourself of one of your most precious commodities, your time and your life. We all have different goals, dreams, objectives, desires and wants. You aren’t living someone else’s life and they certainly aren’t living yours.
Stop comparing your life to anyone else’s, it’s a deadly trap that has no end. Start living your own unique expression of you. The probability of you being born at the exact time you were born to the parents you have in the life that exists that is called “YOU” is one in 400 trillion. Can you even believe it? You are a full blown miracle. Ted Talks, Mel Robbins http://www.melrobbins.com
2.Learn to Love & Accept Yourself First-If You Can’t Then Who Will?
How do you expect to love and accept anyone else if you cannot love and accept yourself? How can you show love and acceptance if you don’t know how to embody these qualities?
Confident people are not afraid to be alone and take on life’s challenges by themselves. Because of their high levels of self-efficacy, they know that this is a quality of the strong and resilient person.
Don’t be afraid to take yourself on dates, go to the movies, have dinner, take a class and be independent. Why is there such a stigma attached to doing things alone? Independent people know that in order to love and accept another, they must love and accept themselves. How do you give what you don’t have? The short answer is, you can’t.
3.Make Changes Because You Want To, Not Because You Have To
Ahhh, the sting of change when it is forced upon us and not by our choosing, can be one of the worst places to be. Why is it that we change from a level of pain and anguish when we have the unique ability to change from a level of mind of joy and inspiration?
Human beings are notorious for waiting for a major breakdown before submitting forcefully to change. Why is that? It is because we cannot go on with business as usual and we are forced to recalibrate our lives and become conscious of our behaviors and emotional reactions that just aren’t working.
But wouldn’t it be easier if we just changed because we wanted to, because positive change will not only benefit us, it will ultimately lead us down a path of happiness as well? Choose to change from your empowered self, from causing your effect, not cause and effect. What a concept, it is far less stressful and causes far less pain and anguish when we come from a place of “wanting” to change and not being “forced” to change.
4. Spend Quality Time With Yourself
Life is a constant barrage of stimuli. Take valuable time every day you’re your precious self, for your precious self. If YOU don’t put yourself first and take care of you, who will? From your social media, your IPhone, your job, paying your mortgage, your debt, your kids, college funds, your parents, your in-laws, your pets, your boss, your partner, your life.
When you are constantly barraged with stimuli, how can you ever quiet your inner mind and reflect on who you really are? Inner peace and happiness come from unpeeling that desire to be connected to everyone and everything.
Take time our for yourself every day, quiet your mind, meditate, do some yoga poses, whatever that means to you and find out who you really are without the incessant barrage of things that makes up your “noisy” and “busy” life.
5. You Change, So Things Inevitably Change
The only constant in life is change, ugh, the irony! We fight aging, we resist change, we use procrastination and laziness to negate growth, we think the grass is greener elsewhere and we think, “if only I have this, then I’ll finally be happy.” Sorry, we got it all WRONG.
The only way to go with the current of your own life is to embrace change. Look at life with an enlightened perspective: learn from your mistakes, some friendships and relationships weren’t’ meant to last forever, take risks (calculated and uncalculated), step into the unknown, have faith, be passionate, and stand up for what you believe in.
We were born to live our own life, so start living yours today and decide to be good at it. After all, we only get one take at this life, make it a memorable one.
Sarah’s insights surely made an impact on me and I know they do the same for you.
Be happy, be confident, be YOU,