Learn to say NO.
Saying NO is a full sentence. It does NOT require justification and it does not require an explanation. If you have been feeling stressed, frustrated and like you aren’t putting yourself and your needs first, you may want to do some self-inquiry into looking at your boundaries and into the types of relationships and decisions you have been making thus far.
I highly recommend learning the art of saying NO.
When you start saying NO to other people’s invitations, opportunities, and events, you are really saying YES to yourself and committing to live by the standards of your own truth and the ones you set for yourself.
When my husband and I were paying off debt, he said NO all the time. At first, I could not see it but I soon realized it was for our benefit, although I could not always SEE that. What he was actually doing was saying YES to financial freedom and NO to financial enslavement.
If you are accustomed to saying YES all the time, saying NO may not feel comfortable and even down right rotten. But with a little practice, you will get there and it will become familiar. But getting what you want in life isn’t always easy now is it? If it were easy, we would all have the results we wanted.
Here’s why YOU need to get better at saying NO;
- If you don’t make yourself a priority, who will? By saying YES, other people’s priorities will override yours. That is a sure way to create more misery in your life.
Setting boundaries is an important aspect of life and no one is going to do it for you. Boundaries allow you to keep the good in and the bad out. Say NO to judgment, criticism, toxic people and say YES to confidence, self-worth and peace of mind. If this is your pattern, what is stopping you from saying NO? Is it serving you to continue doing what you are doing?
You aren’t responsible for anyone’s else’s reactions. We tend to say YES because we fear we may hurt someone else. But in the end, you hurt yourself and you stress out over other people’s problems and take them on as your own and become frustrated and feel out of control. This is very damaging in all areas of life. Take your power back and say NO.
When you say YES to every opportunity, your actions tend to become merely reactive. Then when high-pressure situations arise, you lose focus and start making unfocused decisions that are NOT in your best interest.
You will tend to crowd out valuable time and energy for the people that are important to you like your family and good friends.
You need time to recover, relax and rejuvenate. You don’t need to say YES to every event you are invited to. Don’t let fear of missing out infiltrate your awareness.
Saying NO will make you a more focused person. It takes courage and you have to use your discerning judgment to say NO and turn down other people and opportunities. Especially when things don’t feel right, don’t say YES because you were afraid to say NO. You will end up resenting your decision and look back with regret.
When you automatically say YES to everything, you aren’t using your discernment on what’s really important. You won’t be able to say YES to what matters most and you won’t be able to recognize them because you have only practiced saying YES. Practice saying NO instead.
Warren Buffet quoted “the difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say NO to almost everything.”
You don’t have to say NO to everything. But this is your life and if you are going to honor your own life, your ability to say no is going to dictate how successful you are.
Successful people have learned to utilize the art of saying NO. They don’t come up with excuses or justifications, to lessen the blow, they just say no. The End.
In order to strengthen your decision-making muscle you are going to have to practice saying NO. It’s a skill like any other skill, it takes time and it takes cultivating that skill and every time you do it, that muscle gets stronger and it becomes easier to do it.
The next time you feel conflicted and you have the desire to make someone else happy and put their needs first instead of yours, remember this; by saying NO to them, you are saying YES to living the greatest expression of who you are, what you stand for and living the truth of the life you want to lead.
To saying NO, you will be so happy you did!